"Little Closed Book"
by Rickey James Breen

Lay around, waiting to be read
not opening for anyone
don't judge the cover,
and it'll let u in

Always pending just how far you go
and you'll enjoy it all the more
as the pages go by and by

"It's Still Here"
by Rickey James Breen

why did you let me get so weak
i can't move on, and i can't breath,
can't think, sleep, eat, or be
without you, i can't be me

you pull me back, and you hypnotize
you make me cheat, and you make me lie
i just can't be somebody else
without you, i'm not myself

even after all this time
i still want you back, as mine
there's no way we're ever done
without you, i am no one

A Pink Furby


A Random Wig


Gay Porn Magz


Faggy Movies


Framed Photo of Myself


Dolls (that were GIFTS!)


Pink Sash

"White Wedding"
by Rickey James Breen

Just like
any white wedding
we came to be, here,
together

Candles
lit eloquently
symbol of eternal
love, don't burn out

Pictures
don't mind the smiling
we were just hiding
all of our fears

Us, Children
gave into a power
that seemed like an hour
but went on for years

Well, I really have to say, I'm sick to death of what's going on in this gay world. No, I'm not going to bitch-out the usual things about it, today's topic is boy's who aren't REAL.

I consider myself real. I don't come from tons of money, nor do I plan on being rich. I don't think I'll be friends with any celebrities, and I know I don't want a sugar daddy.
I hate seeing MOST gay guys who are in school to be things that they have no passion for, but are only interested in the money that they'll make. If you are going to be a doctor, BE a doctor! But do it because you want to help people, NOT because of the G's you'll make every year.

Gay dating, is predictable, and gay.
I think going to dinner is standard dating,... but scented tea lights and Sarah Mclaughlin as background music, only creates a vomit-inducing ambiance. I like flowers as well, but I'd be just as happy with a mound of hay... as long as the intent was the same - not to be impressed with 'THE GIFT', but to be impressed that someone 'GAVE' me something that they thought was important or special.

I notice that this little gay world is full of pretensious, social-climbing, sleezy rats. It's so dissapointing because a lot of these boys actually came from, and have, a REAL core, but get blinded by the "glitz & glam" of "the scene", and they lose their realness.

To "fit in" you don't NEED to have Icons' hair, or only wear Le Chateau threads. It's sad that boys think that's what they have to do to be "cool".

Today's lesson for the road boys and girls boys, is: Don't try to impress, because if you do, people see that you're trying to, and they get bored - fast.

I know this sounds like another one of my "mightier-than-thou" rants, but it's not. I'm not perfect... I have gotten my hair cut at Icons, and I have clothes from Le Chateau, but in balance, I also have stuff from Value Village, and have had my hair cut by an amateur. It's nice to do and have nice things, but there are BIGGER things in life, that are bigger than anything in the material world.

Sunny, Spring Sunday afternoon. Through the blinds, it could be summer.

I really can't believe you said what you said, and said it twice. Double impact, I know you meant it.

Empty wine bottles, and empty beer bottles have been my best friends all week.

Voiceless. Too many smokes, too many drinks. I can't sing along with Sarah Harmer and her album that soundtracks my life.

I felt like meat,... it felt good.

Dynamics are changing. It's sad to see people grow apart, but there is no debate that growing, in any form, is bad.

I see you, watching me, watching you.

You are my favourite dance.

I've been good, for far too long, and the only thing I've proved is that no one is good, but everyone can try.

Somebody once told me:
"If I was to spend everyday, for the rest of my life, with someone I'd want it to be you."

It's one sentence I've never forgotten, but it makes me think if I will ever hear something that BIG again.

I've heard "I love you" a million times, but how often does one mean it? 
Nothing rings louder in my head than that first sentence...

AIDS Update Report (excerpt) by Moira Smith
from The Emergence of Folklore in Everyday Life

New Strains to create further misconceptions & hysteria


If you get it from a virgin, you have FIRST AIDS.
If you get it on Halloween, it's MASQUERAIDS.
If you get it from a musician, it's BAND AIDS.
If you get it in Florida, it's GATORAIDS.
If you get it from touching an air freshener, you've got GLAIDS.
If you catch it in France, you have PARLE VOUS FRANCAIDS.
If you get it from a leather jacket, it's SUAIDS.
If you get it playing party games, you've now got CHARAIDS.
If you get ill during the end of a work week, it's T.G.I.FRIDAIDS.
and now, the worst! 
Did you know that yu can catch it all by yourself, and that's called MASTERBAIDS

Sometimes being funny, is just not enough.
My youth is fading, very fast.
I'm twenty-four.
I'm waking up to realize that no one is gonna fall in love with someone that they aren't proud of...
and why would anyone be proud of me?

Too focused on the party, but the party really doesn't mean anything to me anymore.
(despite what I say, and what you believe and/ or have heard)

I'm mentally outgrowing people, even though I'm not ready for it.
I've got little patience for everything I once thought was important.
Concern with my friends lives, have shadowed my own.

I've heard that 30 is the new 21...
but my 24 feels like 40.

I'm not happy that I like my job and make mere pennies...
and I won't be happy with a job I hate, making all the money in the world.
There's probably a medium, but I sure haven't found it yet... nor does it seem anywhere in sight.

Not everyone grows up to be an astronaut or a superstar
For most of us, we just grow up to be regular... or normal...
and now,
I don't even feel like that.

March always does this to me.

"Bus People"
by Rickey J Breen

Lady with the fuzzy hat
you ride the bus all day long
the circular trip
doesn't make you sick
you're always there, like nothing's wrong

Electric-kid doesn't tie his shoes
I wonder if he owns a comb
never smiles - to hide his braces
his stops are always random places
I bet he doesn't have a home...

The snow-haired man sits by the exit
disgusts me to the highest power
loud coughing - his only sound
his body odor wafers 'round
Has he heard of taking a shower?

The couple, they are so in love
aim their affection, right at me
show-offs, kissing, for the world to see
everyone just lets them be
it charges up my jealousy

Lonely boy, back of bus
I hear him, though he thinks I can't
he mutters and grumbles, negativity rings
who is he, to say such things
to critique, complain, question and rant

I still drink


I still smoke


I still wear ugly white sunglasses

and

I'm still so god-darn cute.